FIFA OCD horror.

When it comes to gamerscore I'm not overly fussed by the total score. I just want to max out games. However, unrounded gamerscores piss me off. 8pt achievements can get to fuck. So I was rather pissed off when FIFA '09 fucked my score for an impressive four months.

I just posted this on PEOWW. Yes, I know it's very silly.


FUCKING YES!

Since the 11th of fucking October I've had a fucking 9 at the end of my gamerscore because of...



Hence



The fix for this is to play for FIFTY FUCKING HOURS to get ONE FUCKING GAMERSCORE. To make it shitter if you set a match to five min halves, you'll only get ten mins of playtime towards the fifty hours. Even though a ten min match in reality takes at least thirteen mins cos of cutscenes, stoppages and set-up.

So this week I've eschewed actual gaming so I can do this



and now I'm this

Kai Review: Rise of the Argonauts (360)

Tedious hack and slasher that takes simplistic combat and bogs it down in hours of pointless conversations and cutscenes. In an already oversubscribed genre this has nothing that makes it stand out from the crowd. If you want good combat buy Conan, if you want a better story (and conversation) get Oblivion or Mass Effect. If you want to sleep for fucking ever, buy this.

Jason talking again.

Kai Review: R-Type Dimensions (XBLA)

Faithful recreation of the first two R-Type games with a nifty option to switch from 2D to 3D on-the-fly. As difficult as it ever was (AKA hellish) but still great. They've added online co-op. It's not very stable. 1200M$P. Worth it. Just. Buy Omega Five instead though.

Big red alien blocking a tunnel.

Update my PEOWW, Doctor

Well, the new PEOWW is up and running. At first glance it's pretty similar to the old one but it's now powered by Wordpress which is a good thing as it means I can update articles much quicker. On the downside, I didn't fancy using any themes and did it all myself which = extraordinary pain when you're a tech-spazzy as I am.

Old PEOWW. Bye bye, Joan.

This all came about just a couple of weeks ago when Sidekick from the PEOWW forum suggested that we add a blog of sorts (fuck... I've still got to do that). I'd been playing around with content management systems (namely Joomla) and it was making me cry constantly. The blog thing got me onto Wordpress and I was able to whip up a site pretty quickly.

Making it look like PEOWW took the most time. It kind of does, yes? Especially when the eagle-eyed among you spot which famous celebrity I've snuck onto the front page. We spent a week adding old reviews and features to the site (have done 70, only 130ish to go... it'd be more but I'm trying to max Skate 2) and then the IMMENSE PANIC of realising that whilst it looked good in Firefox, the whole site was FUCK-O in Internet Explorer. Hngggggggg!

Still, fixed it (well not really but came up with a clever way to mask the fuck up using lovely colours... heeeeee!) and was able to launch yesterday. Oh and then I broke all the links when I changed the url to www.peoww.co.uk rather than the temp WP directory. Oh and I seem to have fucked some of staff log-ins up.

So that's the story of PEOWW 2. Ooooh.

Still plenty to add and new stuff on the way. Once we add all the old pieces and I risk playing around in the code again, we'll be looking good.

Editorially (editLOLiaLOLy) I've made a couple of decisions. One was to drop the score in our first ever review (Space Giraffe) because the patch made things too difficult. The second was to do a complete rewrite of one review because I'd spent so much time with the game and wanted to add some extra perspective.

Oh and you can now leave comments on the reviews and ting. Which is neat-o.

Check it all out on www.peoww.co.uk!

Kai Review: Skate 2 (360)

No-thrills sequel to the best sports game of 2007. Same controls, same gameplay. Slightly better graphics. Online modes have been fleshed out a bit. Nothing too exciting but a reasonably good sequel.

Man with bad haircut skating at you.

Kai Review: Prince of Persia (360)

Pretty but dull platformer that seems to lack the finesse and depth of Assassin's Creed, a game it shares an engine with and, yes, AssCreed wasn't even very good. Lacklustre free-running and awful combat make this game a bit of an irrelevance. Plot is bollocks too.

Man hanging off of wall.